Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Hide your grandma: It's time for Nick Lutsko's Spirit Halloween theme song

Illustration for article titled Hide your grandma: Its time for Nick Lutskos Spirit Halloween theme song
Photo: Smith Collection/ Gado (Getty Images)

Halloween is still more than a month out, but that’s never stopped the purveyors of fake blood, plastic skeletons, and ill-advised sexy costumes at stores like Spirit Halloween from getting a jump on the holiday well in advance. This year, to help usher in the beginning of the novelty shopping season well ahead of time, Nick Lutsko (whose work we’ve featured here many times before) has written a theme song for Spirit.

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Lutsko’s ode to Spirit Halloween touches on everything worth noting about the store. In short, it will terrify your grandma, it sells skeletons and ghouls, and, according to the clip, employs spooky reps who will get in touch with comedians to offer them “$1,000 for 100 retweets” of their original theme songs. Most importantly, we’re shown just how integral Spirit is to the global economy continuing to function. Without them “haunting the buildings of every business Jeff Bezos killed”—helpfully illustrated with a list of those companies and an image of Bezos’ bald head morphing into a Halloween prop—we would all be fucked.

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The song is excellent and Lutsko’s sweaty, Amazon-enraged face at the end of the video is a good reminder that, no matter what other terrible shit is going on, we still have Halloween. As to any lingering questions as to whether Lutsko will actually get paid for his invaluable work, well, as he tweets, “That’s entirely up to Spirit Halloween.”

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Don’t be like Bezos, Spirit Halloween. Pay the man properly for his services.

Update: Spirit Halloween has, in fact, done the right thing and compensated Lutsko for his “scary good talent!”

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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