Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Here are all of this year’s Super Bowl commercials
Screenshot: YouTube

It’s that time of year when The Brands stop trying to be cool on Twitter and start trying to be cool on the TV. The below ads—each brimming with A-list talent and budgets your average indie filmmaker would salivate over—will air during the Super Bowl, but have been uploaded early for your viewing pleasure. We’ll be updating this list as more commercials drop online, but there’s plenty to feast your eyes on for now, from Rick-and-Morty madness to John Cena and Jimmy Fallon buddy comedy.

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Amazon

Who’s in it: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi

What are they doing: Pondering what life was like before Alexa, thus spawning a slew of old-timey recreations.

Apple

Who’s in it: Gamers

What are they doing: Playing Apple Arcade. But it looks cool!

Avocados From Mexico

Who’s in it: Molly Ringwald

What is she doing: Selling some very cute avocado accessories.

Audi

Who’s in it? Maisie Williams, otherwise known as Arya of House Stark.

What is she doing? Driving an Audi while singing Frozen’s “Let It Go.” For some reason.

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Bounty

Who’s in it: Sofia Vergara, Rob Riggle, Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, Sarah Hyland, Wells Adams, Russell Wilson, and Carson Wentz

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What are they doing: Helping to clean a party that’s been doused in chili, which we’re guessing none of them would likely do in real life.

Bubly

Who’s in it: Michael Bublé, Aparna Nancherla, and others who think Michael Bublé’s last name is Bubly

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What are they doing: Confusing Bublé’s name with Bubly as Bublé corrects them

Budweiser

Who’s in it? A bunch of smart devices.

What are they doing? Recreating the iconic (and cursed) “whassup” ad from 1999, but with a twist!

Who’s in it? Free Hugs Guy, Ali Krieger, Ashlyn Harris, and Hannah Gavios; Oscar-winning filmmaker Kathryn Bigelow is behind the camera.

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What are they doing? Making America great again by implying that Americans are Bud-drinking heroes and not the sardonic list of weird stereotypes listed by the narrator. Are Americans really known for taking clothes off in public? Seems like more of a European thing.

Bud Light

Who’s in it? Post Malone.

What is he doing? Listening to the tiny tattooed workers in his brain and body tell him that Bud Light Mango Seltzer is delicious and low in calories.

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Cheetos

Who’s in it: MC Hammer.

What is he doing? Popping out from things and declaring “Can’t touch this” every time a man’s cheese powder-covered hands prevent him from doing manual labor or physically engaging with the people around him.

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Dashlane

Who’s in it: Charon, ferryman of Hades

What is he doing: Damning a guy because he forgot his password

Doritos

Who’s in it? Sam Elliott.

What is he doing? Reciting the lyrics to Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road,” smacking his own ass.

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Facebook

Who’s in it: Chris Rock and Sylvester Stallone

What are they doing: Getting into a fight at the top of the Philadelphia Museum of Art steps.

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The General Insurance

Who’s in it: Snoop Dogg

What is he doing: Rapping about insurance. “You drop the rates, I drop the beats.”

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Genesis

Who’s in it? John Legend and Chrissy Teigen.

What are they doing? Teigen makes a scene by knocking over a comically fancy spread of oysters, then throws her husband under the bus while acting like we all don’t follow her on Twitter.

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GMC Hummer

Who’s in it: LeBron James

What is he doing: A Jim-Carrey-in-The-Cable-Guy-dunk.

Google

Who’s in it? Loretta’s husband.

What is he doing? Making you cry.

Hard Rock

Who’s in it: Jennifer Lopez, A-Rod, DJ Khaled, Pitbull, and Steven Van Zandt; directed by Michael Bay

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What are they doing: No idea, but it’s exhausting.

Heinz

Who’s in it: Too many people.

What are they doing: It’s hard to tell with this four-frame aesthetic. Something to do with ketchup?

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Hulu

Who’s in it: Tom Brady

What is he doing: Telling you Hulu “doesn’t have just live sports.”

Hyundai

Who’s in it? Chris Evans, John Krasinski, Rachel Dratch, and David Ortiz.

What are they doing? Speaking in Bahston accents while admiring the Hyundai Sonata’s “Smaht Pahk” feature and somehow not getting mobbed by hordes of shrieking moms.

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Jeep

Who’s in it: Bill Murray, Stephen Tobolowsky, and Brian Doyle-Murray

What are they doing: Recreating a version of Groundhog Day in which Bill plays himself, Brian doesn’t, and the groundhog lives.

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Kia

Who’s in it? Raiders running back Josh Jacobs; directed by John Hillcoat.

What is he doing? Recounting his homeless childhood on the streets of Tulsa to help promote Kia’s charitable efforts around homelessness.

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Little Caesars

Who’s in it? Rainn Wilson.

What is he doing? Playing the harried owner of the Sliced Bread company, which is in danger of no longer being “the best thing.”

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McDonald’s

Who’s in it: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian West, Millie Bobby Brown, and Joe Montana...in spirit

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What are they doing: Sharing their go-to orders with the world, though we’re just assuming McDonald’s made all of this up

Michael Bloomberg

Who’s in it: Calandrian Kemp, the mother of a victim of gun violence

What is she doing: Speaking to presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg’s gun reform efforts

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Michelob Ultra

Who’s in it? Jimmy Fallon and John Cena, with cameos by Usain Bolt, Brooks Koepka, Kerri Walsh Jennings, Brooke Sweat, and The Roots.

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What are they doing? Being different sizes while exercising and drinking beer.

Microsoft

Who’s in it? Katie Sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers.

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What is she doing? Talking about what a big deal it is for her to be the offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. She will, after all, be the first woman ever to coach in the Super Bowl.

Mountain Dew

Who’s in it? Bryan Cranston and Tracee Ellis Ross.

What are they doing? We have no idea.

Olay

Who’s in it: Busy Phillips, Lilly Singh, Taraji P. Henson, and astronaut Nicole Stott

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What are they doing: Launching into orbit while raising money for Girls Who Code.

Porsche

Who’s in it: Fast cars

What are they doing: Wishing Vin Diesel was driving them.

Planters

Who’s in it? Wesley Snipes and Matt Walsh

What are they doing? Watching as Mr. Peanut kills himself to save them.

Who’s in it? Wesley Snipes, Matt Walsh, Mr. Clean, Kool-Aid Man

What are they doing? Mourning Mr. Peanut, who, in death, gives birth to a baby Mr. Peanut that makes dolphin noises.

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Playstation

Who’s in it: Peyton Manning and Eli Manning

What are they doing: Shilling for Madden NFL 20 through some convoluted narrative about “feeding the machine.”

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Pepsi

Who’s in it? Missy Elliott and H.E.R.

What are they doing? Putting a new spin on the Rolling Stones’ “Paint It Black.”

Pop-Tarts

Who’s in it? Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness.

What is he doing? Lookin’ like a snack.

Pringles

Who’s in it? Rick and Morty

What are they doing? Trying to escape the Pringles commercial in which they are trapped.

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Quibi

Who’s in it: Chance the Rapper, sorta

What is he doing: Previewing his Punk’d reboot for some bank robbers who are quite taken with the yet-to-be-released mobile streaming service.

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Reese’s

Who’s in it: A little purple alien guy

What is he doing: Being, like everyone else in the office, too consumed with weirdness to know that Reese’s Take 5 bars exist.

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Rocket Mortgage

Who’s in it: Jason Momoa

What is he doing: Reading a romance novel in the bathtub, being shirtless.

Who’s in it: Jason Momoa

What is he doing: Giving us fucking nightmares by allowing his head to be CGI’d onto some spider-thin person.

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Sabra

Who’s in it: Drag queens Miz Cracker and Kim Chi

What are they doing: Eating hummus, endangering their wigs.

Who’s in it: Ric Flair, Megan Thee Stallion, Jaleel White, TikTok star Charli D’Amelio, Zach King, Fortnite streamer Bugha, The Kombucha Lady, Caroline Manzo, Teresa Giudice, and probably some other people we don’t recognize. Oh, and Miz Cracker and Kim Chi. And Chester Cheetah. We don’t know, man.

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What are they doing: Eating hummus. Hopefully not getting listeria?

SodaStream

Who’s in it: Bill Nye the Science Guy

What is he doing: Being very excited about astronauts finding water on Mars.

Snickers

Who’s in it? Luis Guzmán.

What is he doing? Being as confused by the “Snickers hole” as the rest of us.

Squarespace

Who’s in it? Winona Ryder.

What is she doing? Some kind of Fargo riff.

T-Mobile

Who’s in it: Anthony Anderson

What is he doing: Fielding countless calls from his mother, who is very pleased with her T-Mobile service.

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Taco Bell

Who’s in it: Some Crockett and Tubbs cosplayers

What are they doing: Headlining a trailer for an action comedy about Taco Bell’s Nacho Fries

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Takis

Who’s in it: John Cena

What is he doing: Stunt-driving, eating Takis.

Tide

Who’s in it? Charlie Day and Emily Hampshire

What are they doing? Sorting through their own dirty laundry.

Who’s in it? Charlie Day and Emily Hampshire, again

What are they doing? Staring into the future, embracing synergy with Bud Light

Tostitos

Who’s in it: Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart

What are they doing: Continuing to be the best unlikely friendship by enjoying new Tostitos Strips and their creamy avocado salsa.

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Toyota

Who’s in it: Cobie Smulders

What is she doing: Outrunning a tentacled monster in a 2020 Toyota Highlander.

TurboTax

Who’s in it? Some very talented dancers.

What are they doing? Dancing to an admittedly catchy song about doing your own taxes.

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Verizon

Who’s in it: First responders.

What are they doing: Saving people in ways Verizon would never.

Walmart

Who’s in it? Groot, Buzz Lightyear, Legos, the talking pug from Men In Black, Bill & Ted’s Alex Winter, a de-aged version of Alex Winter, the aliens from Mars Attacks.

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What are they doing? Shopping at Walmart, referencing their movies.

WeatherTech

Who’s in it: Scout, a lucky dog

What is he doing: Trying to help other good boys

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Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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