Anyone who watched Friends will immediately connect the dots in that headline, but even those who can quote every Thanksgiving episode on command will have trouble figuring out what a cat-murder has to do with anything—and yet somehow that’s not even the point of the story?? During an appearance on Literally! With Rob Lowe, Lovitz shared a wild tale involving Courteney Cox, Brad Pitt, and the aforementioned deceased cat, and it all culminated in an ending that would make Larry David proud. But first, a little background info: Lovitz was friends with Cox and Kudrow (it was his advice that led her to Friends), and he shared a manager with Brad Pitt—Cynthia Pett-Dant—who introduced the two actors. Pitt would sometimes stay at Pett-Dant’s beach house when she was out of town, and that house just so happened to be next door to Lovitz’s beach house.
Pett-Dant had nine (!!!) dogs, and as Lovitz tells it, Pitt was out walking this absolute HERD of canines when one of them managed to get loose—which, like, first of all, of course it did. NINE DOGS. THAT’S BONKERS. Anyway, this dog was either particularly in touch with its natural instincts or had a bone to grind with Lovitz’s cat, which he’d adopted to help cope with the loss of his dad. The dog ran into Lovitz’s house and killed his cat in an act he explicitly refers to as “murder.” Later that evening, Lovitz went to Cox’s house, where she was hanging out with Cynthia and some other women. Uproxx transcribed what followed:
They were all crying, and Jon asked, “What’s going on?” and Cox said, “We just feel so bad for Cynthia!”
“You feel bad for Cynthia?” Lovitz asked. “My cat was killed! Murdered! Most foul! In my bedroom.”
“And Courteney goes, ‘Well, food chain!’”
“And I said, ‘What? Excuse me! Food chain?’”
“Yes, well, cats kill dogs,” Cox told him.
“My cat was in my bedroom, minding its own business. And the dog came in and murdered my cat!”
Lovitz did not soon forget about the incident. “Five years later,” Lovitz told Rob Lowe, “Someone says to me, ‘Courteney Cox’s grandmother died,’ and I say, ‘Whoa! Tell her I said, ‘food chain!’”
“Three years later,” Lovitz continues, “I see her at a Dodger game, and she says, ‘You’re still mad about that?’ And I say, ‘I hear your grandmother died. FOOD CHAIN!’”
“Just say you’re sorry, Courteney!”
“And she says, ‘OK, fine, [I’m sorry].”
“I hold a grudge times 10,” Lovitz concluded. “It’s called, ‘Being Jewish.’”