Ted Cruz should be happy. Earlier this month, following a hard-fought campaign, he secured a second term as Senator, besting Democratic hopeful and reluctant sexual icon Beto O’Rourke. He should, in theory, be on top of the world. So, why does Ted Cruz look like he was just fired from his part-time job at GameStop for falling asleep in the storeroom too many times? More to the point, what the fuck is up with Ted Cruz’s beard?
Yesterday, while traveling back from the Thanksgiving holiday, Cruz debuted this new disheveled look, complete with an ill-fitting suit and a sickly smile that screams, “Please don’t take my photo right now.” But, truly, it is the beard that stands out in the ensemble. And we use the term “beard” only because “smattering of dirt smudges in and around the jawline” is too cumbersome of a phrase. Regardless of what you call it, it is painfully embarrassing.
It remains to be seen if the Senator will continue this valiant attempt at facial hair, letting his patchy stubble flourish into a full-grown neck beard. Given the brutal responses this single photo as already received, we can’t imagine that will be very good for his ego. But, then again, Ted Cruz seems to be a glutton for punishment, so get your “homeless Father Christmas” jokes locked and loaded.
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