Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Here’s the latest list of dildos that want to steal your personal data

Photo: SOPA Images (Getty Images)

Everyone knows that cell phones, smart TVs, and other wirelessly connected devices are most likely recording your data for nefarious reasons. Don’t delude yourself, however, into thinking that digital privacy violations stop at the bedroom door. As reported by Boing Boing, the cyber-security focused “Privacy Not Included” buyers guide from Mozilla was recently updated to include hi-tech sex toys, some of which are selling your orgasmic data to the highest bidder.

While the majority of these products still meet Mozilla’s “minimum security standards,” their privacy violations seem glaring enough that we would recommend avoiding them altogether. For example, Lovense’s Nora & Max—a pair of devices that connect to an app via Bluetooth so long-distance couples can have an “interactive experience”—inexplicably shares your data with third-party advertisers. Granted, that’s not as bad as some of their previous security violations which, as Boing Boing reports, saw some of their products making accidental audio recordings of customers’ sex sessions.


The lesson here: Protection in the bedroom can take a number of forms. And if you’re wondering if your fancy new sex toy is sharing your deepest, darkest secrets, keep an eye on the Internet Of Dongs, a helpful cyber-security blog that regularly updates its reviews of these naughty gadgets.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com


Share This Story

About the author

Dan Neilan

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Have Fun — Will Travel.