Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Here are four mostly inconsequential characters who wont be in the next emStar Trek/em film

The question of who will appear in J.J. Abrams' next Star Trek movie officially became a game of elimination over the weekend, when writer Roberto Orci appeared on the radio show "Ask Mr. K.E.R.N." and addressed the many rumors regarding the sequel with typically obfuscating and frustrating results. Still refusing (like everyone involved with the project) to comment on whether Benedict Cumberbatch's villain character is actually Khan as rumored, Orci instead participated in creating a misdirecting list of people who will not be in the film, just in case you were wondering. These include: Starfleet officer and potential Kirk love interest Janice Rand; Gary Mitchell, Kirk's friend and fellow crewmember who becomes possessed after passing through the Galactic Barrier; the telekinetic teen Charlie X; and the dangerous android Ruk. Nearly all of them are minor characters, most only appeared for a single episode early in the show's existence, and you definitely shouldn't expect to see them, on the off chance that you were all like, "No Ruk? NO MOVIE." If that's the case, here is where you part ways.


Further blatantly wasting your time, Orci also took part in joking that you shouldn't expect to see Next Generation enemies the Borg, clearly content to let this whole thing play out for several months more while debates only grow more heated and fragrant with Cool Ranch. But in the interest of speeding up the process, here are some other people and things that won't be in the next Star Trek: Carol Burnett, from that one time they did a Star Trek parody on The Carol Burnett Show. Wesley Crusher. Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine. Ewoks. The Tupac hologram. The Snorg, a race of incredibly advanced ironic T-shirts. That friend of your dad's who always asks whether you've been "breakin' any hearts lately," like he's Burt Reynolds or something. Burt Reynolds. Khan, maybe.  [via AICN]

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