What is being a vampire/werewolf/zombie/ghost if not some kind of elaborate metaphor for addiction? You die if you don’t bite people and drink their blood? Alcoholism, maybe sex addiction. You turn into a hairy monster and can only be killed by a silver bullet? Alcoholism, also maybe sex addiction. You have an insatiable hunger for brains and also your skin is disgusting and rotten? That’s definitely alcoholism and sex addiction. You’re an intangible spirit who shakes furniture and makes people feel colder when you’re nearby? It might be a good idea to cut back on the liquor and also look into sex addiction.

HBO is going to make these metaphors more literal with Incurable, a drama pilot that’s being developed by writer Will Strouse and director Alan Poul (Six Feet Under, The Newsroom). We don’t know much about the plot, but Variety says it will all revolve around “a support group for people with supernatural problems.” Let’s just hope it’s not as reductive as “this thing is a metaphor for that thing,” because we already wrote that entire show in the first paragraph.

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