Kirk Cameron's Fireproof warned of the way that pornography is contributing to the dissolution of the American family, but strangely, no one took that movie very seriously. So the Christian movie industry will try again with Harmless—this time using the "found-footage" aesthetic that today's horror audiences respond to, in hopes that the visceral, vérité quality of the film will communicate the very real horrors of constantly whacking it. Indeed, perhaps you will see something of yourself in the film's otherwise-decent family man whose supposedly "harmless" box o' porn turns out to be anything but, because the title is ironic and porn is evil. In fact, said box unleashes a porn poltergeist that soon terrorizes his entire house, haunting the man via creepy hair-dolls and giant, symbolic mounds of jizz-snow guarded by disapproving, matronly women, until he must make the apparently very difficult decision regarding just throwing it out already. The filmmakers call their still-in-production project a "sort of a social commentary on how pornography can destroy a family"—though we suppose some hedonists will read it as an argument for how great the Internet is, because it removes the need to hang onto a giant box of haunted porn. Those people are going to have demons watching them masturbate forever. [Christian Nightmares via Movieline]

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