Looks like Corey Haim pulled a Billy Corgan in this week's issue of Variety. In a full-page ad, the star of Lucas, The Lost Boys, License To Drive, and currently A&E;'s The Two Coreys (alongside Corey Feldman, the Felix to Haim's Oscar) had this to declare to Hollywood:

Is there a handwriting analyst in the house? That John Hancock looks way fucking cracked out.