Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Today in news that practically demands that we repeat the word “pirate” as many times as possible, Deadline is reporting that hackers have stolen a copy of Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales and they’re threatening to release it online if Disney doesn’t pay a ransom. These movie pirates aren’t just looking for treasure chests full of doubloons, though—they want “an enormous amount of money” paid in Bitcoin, presumably so they can all live like kings with lifetime Reddit Gold subscriptions (or whatever else someone would buy with Bitcoin).

Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed that the hackers did claim to have pirated an upcoming Disney film during a meeting with ABC employees in New York, though he wouldn’t say which one, and he added that the company has no intention of paying the nerdy Bitcoin ransom. Also, Iger says Disney is working with the FBI to try and expose the digital Jack Sparrow behind this act of piracy, but he didn’t offer any details beyond that. However, Deadline’s sources have confirmed that the stolen movie is indeed Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, which won’t be released into theaters until May 26.

Unfortunately, Disney’s Pirates movies have made an effort to show that pirates are cool and sexy, while people who try to stop pirates are stuffy and boring, so it may be difficult for the company to actually find any noble pirate hunters to enlist in this quest to get its movie back.