Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Gwyneth Paltrow goes on Chris Martin cleanse

Illustration for article titled Gwyneth Paltrow goes on Chris Martin cleanse

In a public post on her website Goop that asks everyone to please respect her space, Gwyneth Paltrow has announced that she and Coldplay singer Chris Martin have decided to undergo a “conscious uncoupling.” Somewhat akin to what ordinary people might call a “divorce,” only far more spiritual, the “conscious uncoupling” consists of a prolonged cleanse of your spouse from your life, resulting in a mutual agreement to live separate unattainable lifestyles.


The uncoupled couple explains it all in a post titled, naturally, “Conscious Uncoupling”:

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love, Gwyneth & Chris

This post is followed by a lengthy explanation from Drs. Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami for perusal and reflection, and incorporation into your own conscious uncouplings, should you, as always, wish to follow Paltrow’s example.