Although somehow bested in Revolver’s Golden Gods Awards by Rammstein—a group that, as far as we know, has never had zombie Hitler spray its audience with green ooze from his cock—GWAR has graciously accepted defeat in the “Best Live Act” category by focusing on the positive, which is that they did not lose to Sevendust. As a result, frontman Oderus Urungus says he will make good on his recent promise to have sex with anyone who voted for the band, issuing this statement:

“I will now go on an immediate fuck-finding expedition where I will personally reward everyone who voted for us with a violent load. I will go anal in the Aleutians, missionary in Mississippi, plus I will fuck the Presidents dog on the White House lawn. This may take some time as I have to wait for as long as 38 seconds between erections.”


So if you were one of the many who voted for the group in hopes of getting savagely sodomized by a guy in a foam latex costume, maybe hit them up on their Facebook page or something.