Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Guinness Record-holding giant rabbit kidnapped, perhaps marking new record for most kidnapped giant rabbit

Darius, the giant rabbit.
Darius, the giant rabbit.
Screenshot: CBC Docs

Darius, a Continental Giant rabbit who won the Guinness World Record for “longest rabbit living” in 2010, has been kidnapped. We have no idea who the heartless thieves responsible for his abduction are yet, but, by god, we will not rest until the creature is returned home and the criminals have answered for their affront.

Play the above video and look at Darius. Who, we ask, would have so little heart as to take this comically enormous creature from his home? Who would seek to trouble Darius’ oversized brain unnecessarily? Who, we say, slamming a frustrated fist on our desks, could...actually lift that big bastard out of his yard without anyone noticing?

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According to Yahoo! News, Darius’ poor guardian, Anette Edwards, believes her fluffy leviathan was taken “from his enclosure in Stoulton, Worcestershire” sometime during the night of Saturday April 10th or in the early hours of Sunday April 11th. She’s now offering a £1,000 reward to “anybody who can help return” Darius to her care while West Mercia Police attempt to locate him.

“A very sad day,” her message reads. “Guinness world record Darius has been stolen from his home...Darius is to [sic] old to breed now. So please bring him back.”

Darius is four-foot, three-inches long and has held his esteemed title for 11 years. Incredibly, his kidnapping is not the first time Darius has been in the news for tragic reasons. In 2017, his three-foot-long son Simon died during an United Airlines flight from the United Kingdom to America. Edwards and the Darius rabbit family have been through enough.

The people who stole Darius need to look at themselves, then down to the enormous rabbit they’ve kidnapped, and really think about what they’ve done. The esteemed rabbit deserves better. We all deserve better. Bring Darius home, you assholes. And may god have mercy on your souls.

[via Boing Boing]

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.