Bored of playing with its German warplanes, The History Channel has decided to move on to scripted fare, beginning with the upcoming miniseries The Kennedys. The eight-hour drama will finally shed some light on the shamefully unexplored history of the political family—which is a hilariously ironic statement on our part, because if you put all the hours our society has spent writing, thinking, and even fantasizing about the Kennedys up against all the hours John F. Kennedy was actually in office, the ratio would be something like 1000:1. But hey, whatever: Joseph Kennedy and the Mafia, PT 109, Frank Sinatra, Bay of Pigs, Marilyn Monroe, golf, back pain, Lee Harvey Oswald, John-John salutes the carriage, the Ambassador Hotel, Chappaquiddick, om om om—it’s like some sort of shamanistic story of the tribe at this point, repeated every few years to promote healing and connectedness and give some foolhardy actor a chance to try out a Massachusetts accent.
Taking on that role this time around: Greg Kinnear, who at least has the boyish charm down. But perhaps the most surprising casting news is that First Lady of Scientology Katie Holmes has been tapped to play Jacqueline Kennedy. Being called upon to play the woman who was, for an entire generation, the very personification of style and grace is a losing proposition for any actress, but something about the idea of Holmes has most media outlets asking stuff like, “Can Katie Holmes Pull Off Jackie Kennedy?” Maybe it’s the fact that it’s been a while since Holmes has been seen expressing a human emotion that couldn’t be conveyed with a tight-lipped smirk—or maybe everyone’s just jealous? After all, she can’t be any worse than Rhea Perlman, right?