Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Great news! You can now buy a dick pillow called the PeePeePlush
Screenshot: YouTube

The internet, like a 12-year-old, cannot be stopped from finding new ways to make dick jokes. The greatest form of communication ever created will continue to be used primarily to giggle at wieners, maintaining the grand tradition of our species no matter how difficult a time we’re all going through right now. Testament to this is the “PeePeePlush,” a big old cartoon hog with eyes and stubby little testes-legs that is currently for sale online.

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Spotted by @KrangTNelson, the dick pillow advertises itself on its website as “kinda long, kinda chonk, the absolute unit!” It comes (tee hee) in 30cm (11.8") and 50cm (19.7") sizes and either brown or white colors. The internet-speak continues through site copy that notes, “The plush is giant, the penis it depicts isn’t,” “Its proportions are rather chode-like,” and “Mind you, it’s almost 12 inches long ...”

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“Snuggle up with PeePee and rest your head on his lovely soft shaft,” the site continues. “Or keep him on your desk to make your colleagues INSTANTLY contact HR to voice their concerns.” Aside from the terrible use of both “chonk” and “absolute unit” in the website’s product description, the obvious question is who would actually want to invite the PeePeePlush into their own home in exchange for real, spendable-on-other-things money. @ItsPhetz provides one use-case ...

... but otherwise, we imagine the plush is destined to live out its days mostly as a “funny” gift given to people who then have to figure out how to house a blank-eyed cock stuffie forevermore.

At any other time, the PeePeePlush would be easy to dismiss as yet another instance of the internet willing into existence a deeply stupid joke promoted by terrible meme speak. Now, though, this idiot dick pillow is a sign of hope—a soft, floppy reminder that our dumbest instincts as a species can never be defeated. As with anything else that serves this reassuring function, we have no choice but to embrace, with a heavy sigh, the “kinda chonk” PeePeePlush.

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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