Kathie Lee Gifford, your mom’s “crazy” friend who wants to know if she’s talking too loud—Is she talking too loud? Well, who cares!—has composed an 18-minute musical by slinging droplets of rosé across a staff. And because she’s terrifying, NBC has agreed to play those pink-stained notes for a live production of said musical, at some yet-to-be-determined date. It will star Gifford’s fellow Today anchors and assorted crew as the people who know it’s better to just go along when she gets like this. “It’s going to be live and it’s going to be so much fun,” Gifford said, breathing hot in your face.

Titled Not Today And Tomorrow’s Not Looking Good Either, after the response people give Gifford when she invites them to a dinner party, the musical will also feature guest star Regis Philbin, whose uncomfortable body language mirrored that of a nation as Gifford shrieked the news this morning.


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It’s unclear as yet what the musical will be about, other than about 18 minutes too long, though Gifford added with typical self-deprecation/promotion, “I have a little experience with disasters on Broadway.” Gifford’s last attempt at a musical was 2012’s Scandalous, about the life of evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson; it opened to terrible reviews and closed quickly. Though it’s also possible that with “disasters on Broadway,” Gifford was referring to her walks home from work.


Not Today is expected to air sometime before NBC’s Peter Pan Live!, as part of the network’s continued strategy of channeling schadenfreude into ratings.