While NBC has yet to make an official decision—despite the insistence of some other frothing-at-the-mouth blogs—it's expected that the network will soon announce that the Jan. 13 telecast of the Golden Globes has been canceled, owing to a refusal to cross picket lines by the Screen Actors Guild. Rumors are floating around of a stripped-down version of the night, which will supposedly begin with a special Dateline featuring interviews with nominees, followed by a one-hour clip show, and then a press conference announcing the winners. While the loss of what is typically Hollywood's drunkest night means we'll be missing out on gems like Drew Barrymore's 2006 ode to women's lib or Harrison Ford treating Virginia Madsen like his own personal cocktail waitress, anyone attending the red carpet event will still have the opportunity to drop by the media tent and commit career suicide: