Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Go back to bed, America: Gladiators returning

The show that Bill Hicks once described as "pituitary retards banging their fucking skulls together" is returning—just in time to distract you from the upcoming election. Yes, Nitro, Turbo, and Lace are back (well, not them personally; those people are all in their 40s) in a just-announced revamp of American Gladiators due this spring on NBC. This time the show plans to get much more personal, following contestants as they train and even delving into the backstories of the Gladiators themselves. Great, because we've so often wondered what makes a guy like Laser tick.

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