Oh sure, the trailer for next year’s Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice might seem dark and hopeless. Superman descends from the heavens more like a Nietzschean Übermensch than a smiling friend in tights. Watching Zod and Supes tear down Metropolis looks like it’s going to give Bruce Wayne a conniption. But we all know that Superman really is a good guy, and Batman is just being tricked by that nasty-old startup-billionaire Lex Luthor. But that’s just being angry, not dark. Heck, that’s not even Superman 3 junkyard-showdown dark.

If you really want a vision of bleakness, you’ll need to watch Vulture’s vintage Batman V Superman trailer. Here our Kryptonian benefactor isn’t misunderstood; he’s a violent, staggering sociopath given to mauling women and shoving things off of cliffs. He’s leering through bushes and smashing up expensive antique chairs; make no mistake—this Superman is a loose canon. Then there’s Batman, who is woefully outmatched here, as we all know he would be (kryptonian-imbued mech-suits be damned). When you’ve got to surf a runaway locomotive into your foe, it’s probably time to wave the white flag.


When they finally confront each other in the fog, it’s unclear if they will engage in fisticuffs or a sensuous embrace. Sadly, Warner Bros. just doesn’t have the guts to make this version of Batman V Superman.