Our friends and neighbors at Rock For Kids—an organization that provides music education for underserved kids in Chicago—are holding their annual "rock & roll auction" next Friday, November 16, and it includes a whole bunch of signed memorabilia (Andrew W.K., Parks & Recreation, Van Halen) and some cool experiences, including VIP tickets to Pitchfork Festival 2013. But perhaps the most exciting item of all is the chance to have your face (or a friend's) featured in an Onion article. Go over to the bidding site to check out what's on offer. Always remember, Mookie: Do the right thing.