Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Get Involved, Internet: Let's make Danny DeVito the new Wolverine

Screenshot: Change.org

After years of being owned by Fox, Marvel Studios has at long last found itself in possession of the film rights to the comic book giant’s own X-Men franchise. How, exactly, Marvel incorporates its collection of mutants into the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe remains to be seen. What is certain, however, is that they will be doing so without the services of Hugh Jackman, who stepped away from anchoring the franchise as Wolverine for nearly two decades following 2017's Logan. One way or another, Marvel needs a new Weapon X.

While Marvel has their pick of probably any actor they want for the role, a Change.org petition is urging the studio to make the one true correct choice: Danny DeVito.

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“We believe that if Wolverine is to make an appearance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that the only man able to pull it off is Danny DeVito,” the petition reads.

As one signatory argues, “Hollywood needs to embrace the FACT that superheroes come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. They are in our neighborhoods, places of work and places of worship. Hollywood needs to start reflecting that.” 

At the time of this writing, the petition has nearly reached its goal of 15,000 signatures. This may seem like a long shot, but at the very least it is definitely more likely than HBO remaking this season of Game of Thrones, as more than a million knuckleheads—who could have been spending their time trying to get Danny DeVito the Wolverine job—have demanded.

On the one hand, DeVito might seem an odd fit. Aside from his roles in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s Lethal Weapon sequels, he’s not known as an action star, per se. His most famous superhero role was as the villainous Penguin in 1992's Batman Returns. He probably can’t do much of whatever’s going on here.

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On the other hand, DeVito, of any actor alive, probably shares the most in common with the physical characteristics of actual wolverines, which this National Geographic For Kids article describes as “stocky animals that look like small bears, but... are the largest members of the weasel family.”

Let the man be Wolverine, Marvel.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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About the author

Gabe Worgaftik

Contributor, The A.V. Club.