Vampire's Kiss

If the extent to which a crowdfunding campaign deserves your money is based on how funny the pitch is, then Thom Malone’s attempt to create the world’s largest mosaic of Nicolas Cage’s face is almost certainly worth a few dollars. In order to achieve this noble goal, Malone has set up a Kickstarter page and is trying to raise $41,647—that’s $52,000 in Canadian loonies—by May 6, and he wants everyone who pledges money to send in a picture of their face.

The current holder of the Guinness World Record for the world’s largest photo mosaic, according to Malone’s Kickstarter page, is an organization called Transitions Optical. As far as we know, that mosaic had nothing to do with Nicolas Cage, but we’re not sure. Either way, that image used 176,000 photos, and Malone wants to make his out of at least 180,000. Since gathering photos is basically free, he’ll use the Kickstarter money to print them out, gather the necessary permits, physically put the thing together, and pay for the Kickstarter rewards.

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Speaking of Kickstarter rewards, donating to this project can get you a whole bunch of Nicolas Cage-related crap. If you give $10, you get a poster of the final mosaic guaranteed to scare off any future romantic interests. For $20, you get a “Necklace Cage,” which is exactly what it sounds like—and is also probably pretty good at scaring off future romantic interests. For $45, you get a deck of custom Nicolas Cage playing cards that actually look pretty cool, and if you bump it up to $5,000, Malone himself will pay to fly you to Ontario and help put the final project together. There’s also an $8,000 level that’s reserved exclusively for Nicolas Cage, in case he wants to become best friends with Malone.

That, as far as Malone is concerned, also happens to be the biggest risk involved in this project. In the section on the Kickstarter page that lists possible challenges he might face in completing his mosaic, Malone says he’s concerned that Cage will invite him to co-star in his next film—a request that Malone predicts will be impossible to turn down, putting his entire mosaic idea in jeopardy. If you’re willing to take that risk, feel free to throw money away on another silly joke Kickstarter.

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