Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Photo: The Washington Post (Getty Images)

Most of us are still processing the enormity of yesterday’s congressional testimony, which genuinely seemed to mark a turning point in this long, drawn-out, hellish reality TV show of a presidency. It’s all thanks (and we’re stretching the usage of “thanks” here) to Ambassador Gordon Sondland, who showed up to Capitol Hill ready to tell the truth (again, we’re gonna have to stretch “truth” on this, too) about Donald Trump’s egregiously obvious attempt to blackmail Ukraine into investigating the Biden family leading up to the 2020 election.

We’ve had almost 24 hours to digest all this information, and we’re still—stillgetting a load of this guy.


While it remains to be seen if Sondland’s testimony will have any actionable results, it certainly cripples Republicans’ attempts at salvaging any kind of convincing legal explanation for the President’s obviously illegal mob boss behavior. It also offers us a means of pondering how Sondland looks like Howie Mandel’s sleazy brother, and how this photo feels plucked from a fourth wall-breaking ‘90s comedy.

That suit. That furrowed brow. That shit-eating grinas if his public confession (given only after realizing how screwed he’d be without it) totally makes up for the fact this doofus bought his way into an ambassadorship position in perhaps the most corrupt administration in American history, only to snitch when his feet got held to the congressional fire.


It’s likely to be the photo that, years from now, sums up the casual corruption that’s whipped this nation into a mass frenzy. As such, it’s already cementing itself into the cultural consciousness.


Enjoy your notoriety, pal.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com


Andrew Paul's work is recently featured by Rolling Stone, GQ, The Forward, and The Believer, as well as McSweeney's Internet Tendency and TNY's Daily Shouts.

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