Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Fuck it, let's vote on who's the hottest character from Succession

Illustration for article titled Fuck it, lets vote on whos the hottest character from iSuccession/i
Photo: Peter Kramer

Pretty much every character on Succession, the excellent HBO show about evil rich people being rich and evil, is an absolute scumbag. Just the same, the internet has never had qualms about getting all horned up over terrible people, fictional or otherwise, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to learn that a Twitter user with the (notable) handle of @gerrikillallmen has created a bracket to determine Succession’s “hottest character.”

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As you can see above, basically the entire cast is included in the tournament, the first round of which features pairings that were randomly generated. The Roy family is represented, of course, along with key Waystar Royco staff members, but we’re also asked to consider just how desirable characters like Bill Lockheart (the guy who saddled Tom with horrible corporate secrets) and Brian (who doesn’t even rate an entry on the Succession wiki) really are.

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All of this effort is appreciated, sure, but, as people like @Davey_wiley have already made clear, the bracket really doesn’t need so many choices. After all, we all know the hottest Succession character showdown will ultimately be a battle between Gerri and Karl.

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Gerri, powerful enough to be the focus of Roman’s Oedipal complex, and Karl, who gives hints throughout the show that he’s a real freak between the sheets, are the only two characters who deserve to win, but which of these two sexual dynamos will triumph is still a big question to answer. For now, all we can do is wait and see who will win a kiss from the internet in the end.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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