Photo: Friends (NBC)

Friends forever? Hardly. The earth shuddered last year, the news that Friends would eventually leave its streaming home of Netflix for WarnerMedia’s own service serving to shatter our collective, nubbin-loving innocence. As such, our routine, slack-jawed rewatches of the 10-season series have since been haunted by the aura of mystery clouding its future. Well, pals, comfort yourself with the knowledge that this departure comes with an arrival. Yes, next spring, Friends will leave Netflix, but in doing so it will introduce you to Max. HBO Max, to be exact. And, wow, you will not believe what he’s got up his sleeve.

THR reports that the corporate overlords at WarnerMedia have named their new direct-to-consumer streaming service HBO Max, and, you know what, this guy’s got it all. In addition to his cool skateboard and tipped shades, Max has a rad backpack filled not just with all 236 episodes of Friends, but also every season of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air and Pretty Little Liars. Also, you’ll only be able to stream The CW’s Warner Bros.-produced dramas—like Batwoman and Riverdale spin-off Katy Keene—in Max’s wicked bedroom, which rules ‘cause he has a lava lamp. Obviously, Max will also be your hook-up to everything streaming on HBO, from Game Of Thrones to upcoming series like Joss Whedon’s The Nevers, Stephen King’s The Outsider, and Jordan Peele’s Lovecraft Country. All in all, Max is your source more than 10,000 hours of content from the likes of Warner Bros., New Line, DC Entertainment, CNN, Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, and Looney Tunes.

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Sorry, Netflix, you sound sad and all in the below tweet, but we gotta get down with Max.

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Max is also dabbling in production, tapping The CW innovator Greg Berlanti (The Flash, Supergirl, Riverdale) for four YA films. He’s also gabbin’ with Reese Witherspoon, having recruited her Hello Sunshine production banner to make a pair of features for the service. Man, it seems like Max can do anything.

Berlanti scrawled a statement on Max’s whiteboard, which reads: “What I’ve always loved about creating shows that connect with a young audience is that these fans grow up with the programs and will remember them for the rest of their lives. Now I get to do even more of that for HBO Max, where viewers will be able to discover shows on their own time, in their own way. Like any great novel, these shows will be there waiting for you. As a fan, what I’m personally most excited to watch on the service are all the great Warner Bros. movies that affected our entire culture and changed the way we live.”

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Even Game Of Thrones writer George R.R. Martin is hoping for an invite into Max’s orbit. “Working with HBO during the past decade has been a dream come true,” Martin relayed to Max. “What they did could not be done, but they did it anyway. And now they are embarked on a new venture. No, they won’t be tying their shows to the legs of ravens as I suggested...instead they are launching an exciting new streaming platform that will carry all the great HBO programming around the world...classic old shows and thrilling new shows, including (I hope) a return to my world of Westeros. Sign me up!”

Not so fast, George. There’s a price for entry to Max’s pad, though our boy is keeping it under wraps for now. Like Max always says, “Never show all your cards at once.” Classic Max.

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Check out a promo for the service below.

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