While you're sitting there at your desk pretending to work and shopping online, don't forget about the stocking stuffers everybody is clamoring for this year. No, not that stupid Chumby thing. We're talking about the charred meats and expired cheeses of our new Friday Buzzkills Sampler, sure to be a hit at your next mediocre holiday party. (Go fuck yourself, Hickory Farms.) Why not order two?

- Will there ever be a Friday Buzzkills that doesn't mention the writers' strike? Not until they stop bumming us the fuck out there won't. Variety casts a typically pessimistic eye on the ordeal, now in its fifth week with no sign of resolution, with this article remarking on how the looming holiday season will stall talks for even longer, and offered its most dire prognosis yet, saying, "Sources warn that the lack of substantive movement from both sides could signal that the CEOs will decide soon that they've gone as far as they can go and put a take-it-or-leave-it package on the table. The problem for WGA leaders is that such a package may be unacceptable — in that it will be impossible to sell to a membership that's had its expectations elevated after having been on strike for well over a month." Merry Christmas, everyone!

- And as we've said time and again, with the strike in full bloom, the networks are turning to more and more reality fare to fill its schedules. We've already told you about the hick-Bachelor show Farmer Takes A Wife and the unusually cruel idiots-and-lie-detectors skein Moment Of Truth, but NBC may be the one to finally bring on the Four Horsemen with Baby Borrowers, which "puts real babies in the care of rowdy teenagers in an attempt to teach the teens a lesson in responsibility." Hopefully this is just a sting operation to capture any parent stupid enough to sign any waiver put in front of them just to "be on the TV."

- While they've already been stymied in their attempts to launch billboards into space, advertisers won't rest until they find a new way to get you to think about their products–even broadcasting them directly into your brain. Gawker recently reported on an unusual Manhattan billboard for the A&E; show Paranormal State that broadcasts hypersonic sound beams (which use your skull as an speaker), causing people to think they're hearing voices. Today, sister site Idolator reports on Hasbro's new Tooth Tunes Musical Toothbrush, which sends music "through your jawbone to your inner ear," so you can listen to KISS, Kelly Clarkson, Smash Mouth, or even the theme from Star Wars as you practice good dental hygiene. The world of Minority Report gets closer every day.

- One artist unlikely to be chosen for Tooth Tunes is German experimental composer Karlheinz Stockhausen, who died today at the age of 79. Stockhausen was an early electronic musician whose massively ambitious pieces have been cited as an influence by just about everyone from Frank Zappa to Pink Floyd to David Bowie. (John Lennon was also a noted fan, including his image on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's.) He unwittingly stumbled into international controversy in his later years when he described the 9/11 attacks as "the greatest work of art one can imagine," for which he later apologized, but the city of Hamburg still canceled performances of his works. Licht, a seven-part opera cycle which took him 25 years to complete, will be performed for the first time next year.

Have a super weekend!