"I don't care if Monday's blue / Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too / Thursday I don't care about you / Because Friday I'm in love." Oh really, Bob? Well wrap your meaty, black-polished fingers around some Friday Buzzkills. We'll give you something to cry about.

- It's on: The Writers Guild has announced that it plans to go through with its first strike in almost 20 years, perhaps beginning as early as Monday. Depending on how long this drags out, be prepared to lose new episodes of some of your favorite shows and take on a whole lot of crap like Extreme Trading Spouses Who Are No Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader With The Stars instead.

- South Carolina to Stephen Colbert: "You are not America (and no you can't.)" (P.S. Props to Rep. Gilda Cobb-Hunter, who told the ballot committee: "I think you're taking this a little too seriously.")

- From respected comedian and talk show host to "nuke 'em all" Republican puppet to slumming it with Howie Mandel, Bob Saget, and Jeff Foxworthy: Dennis Miller signs on to host NBC's new game show Amnesia and bring his trademark mix of smarm and esoteric references to a wider audience who will probably hate him more than the Whigs hated Van Buren.

- Meat Loaf may have quit music for good, having stopped in the middle of a recent performance of "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" in Newcastle Upon Tyne to say, "I can no longer continue. This is the last show I may ever do in my life" before leaving the show in an ambulance. (Hilarious/heartbreaking eyewitness quote: "I saw a man dressed up as Meat Loaf weeping on the steps.")

- Former Ramones manager, punk pioneer, and "real estate broker to the stars" Linda Stein, 62, was beaten to death earlier this week, and the police have no motives or suspects.

Have a super weekend!

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