Imagine the CarMax marketing team sitting around trying to brainstorm an idea for a commercial that really drives home the point that their company will buy any automobile, no matter how terrible it is. Picture them hitting upon the idea of an old car whose speakers repeatedly play Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie,” its CD player cursed to hold a copy of 1999's Significant Other that it can’t eject. Now, imagine these same people looking at one another, questioning whether they have the sheer gumption necessary to call up Fred Durst to take part in a burn two decades in the waiting and then just fucking doing it and releasing the finished result as a nationwide advertisement.
Well, this is exactly what some collection of heartless monsters pulled off. Together, presumably without any shame, they decided to drive a stake into the already rotting corpse of a nü-metal anthem by filming the above used car-selling scenario as a 30-second spot that ends with Durst, walking across the street carrying some groceries, looking at the “Nookie” mobile with confusion. “You’d do anything to get rid of this car,” the voiceover says at the beginning, showing a woman driving her kids around while everyone gives her the stink eye for playing a song that 20 years ago would’ve been bumping from pretty much every other car on the road. “Just sell it to CarMax,” the narrator finishes. “We’ll buy anything. Even this one.”
Durst, now having to watch this commercial play over and over again, might question whether he should be feelin’ bad (no) or feelin’ good (no) about how kinda sad it is to be the laughin’ stock of the neighborhood. But, in the end, perhaps he’s realized that the public who once loved him so much will put his tender heart in a blender no matter what he does and only a chump (hey) won’t make a few bucks off of the joke that will be told with or without him.
And hey, it could’ve been worse: Rather than have “Nookie” made fun of, Durst could’ve been forced to swallow his pride and star in an ad shitting on “Rollin,” a two-part classic of the era that in no way deserves this sort of scorn.
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