Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Frankie Muniz goes full-tilt horny on main, asks Lizzo to make him her purse

Photo: David Livingston (Getty Images), Steven Ferdman (Getty Images)

When rated on the “former child star” scale of “How badly did we, as a society, fuck you up?” Frankie Muniz seems like he’s operating pretty much on the “Okay, phew” side of the curve. Sure, he’s had some health issues over the years—including, bizarrely, a recurring bout of possibly concussion-related memory loss that means he reportedly remembers very little of his Malcolm In The Middle days—but he also seems…kind of cool? Like, he quit acting to be a race car driver for a while! He came in third on Dancing With The Stars! He runs an olive oil company with his partner! He asked Lizzo to make him into her purse!

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Okay, so that last part is a little bit horny on main. But it’s also clearly of a piece with the Muniz lifestyle, which is all about living hard, driving fast, and offering to hold popular hip-hop stars’ flutes in a way that is only vaguely tinged with a light patina of BDSM. (And also occasionally having to live with some nasty TMZ stories and rumors about your conduct as a drummer, but such is the price of modern online living.) Hell, Lizzo even responded to his tweet, firing back with a reference to her own song, “Tempo.”

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Muniz is currently starring in The Black String, the movie designed for everybody who wanted to watch Frankie Muniz undergo body horror from some kind of supernatural STD. Lizzo, meanwhile, is Lizzo; we’re pretty sure she’s fielding offers by people to act as her personal handbags for days at this point.

Update: We know it’s been a few days since this story originally ran, but we just saw this, so now you, do, too:

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