Suspiciously timed to coincide with the news that Fox is looking to give away some dogs, the network has announced that American Idol dawg Randy Jackson is now free to a loving home after 13 seasons. Jackson first found himself removed from the judges’ table last year and relegated to taking contestant scraps in the mentor crate, muffling his howls of “Yooooo” so that everyone could finally eat their dreams of engineered musical stardom in relative peace. But now Fox is turning him loose, posting an ad in Variety that plays up his training and all the special tricks he’s learned, in the hopes that someone else will take him in.
“Randy has been such an integral part of American Idol since day one, both as a judge and as a mentor,” it reads. “He’s provided great advice and support, shaping the success of so many Idols we have discovered over the years. We wish him all the best in his next chapter.” The ad also swears, “Randy will always be part of our Idol family” and extends the “hope he’ll visit from time to time.” And perhaps his family will even take a drive up to the farm to see him. Maybe next weekend. If they’re not too busy. There is a lot to do around the Idol house, though.
After getting rid of Randy Jackson, only Ryan Seacrest remains from the original American Idol lineup. Seacrest was last seen grudgingly limping after a tennis ball to show Fox that everything’s fine.