Fox News host Laura Ingraham is—in her own mind, at least—currently experiencing the deep spiritual communion that comes from suffering like Jesus Christ did on the road to Golgotha, her body bent and her face caked with the spittle of online throngs pummeling her with bloodthirsty cries of, “What the hell is wrong with you?.” All because she was following in her savior’s example of—hang on, let us check our notes—making fun of a teenager who witnessed the murder of 17 of his classmates less than two months ago.
Ingraham, who made a big deal of showing up to work on Ash Wednesday with her forehead smudged, was forced to apologize to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School student/gun control activist David Hogg today after two of her sponsors pulled ads from her primetime Fox News program. The sponsors in question, Rachel Ray’s Nutrish brand of pet food and travel site TripAdvisor, objected to a tweet from Ingraham’s account, in which she served as a living example of God’s grace by—sorry, we’ve got it all in our notes here—calling Hogg a soft-bellied millennial whiner for not getting into all the colleges to which he applied.
Hogg replied last night by listing Ingraham’s advertisers on Twitter, asking his followers to contact those companies and pressure them to pull ads from Ingraham’s show. Less than 24 hours later, she was down two sponsors, with home goods e-retailer Wayfair rumored to be close behind. That’s when Ingraham found religion, and wrapped it in a plug for her own show:
It’s like that Bible verse that every Christian child can recite before they’re able to walk: “If a group of children organizes to protect their very lives, turn to them and mock them until your sponsors start pulling out. For the kingdom of God is within your advertising revenue.”
UPDATE, 5:25 PM: Hogg’s response to Ingraham’s apology was swift and cutting, telling her to “#ShutUpAndBeObjective”—a take on Ingraham’s comment that LeBron James should “shut up and dribble” after James criticized President Trump—and writing that “an apology in an effort just to save your advertisers is not enough.”