Fox News, that ceaseless drone in the hearts, minds, and living rooms of angry retirees, is a cesspool of conspiracy garbage. Now, in his continuing efforts to pinpoint the toxicity of the far-right in the most entertaining way possible, songwriter Nick Lutsko and College Humor have refashioned a whole trash-barge worth of Fox News clips into an ‘80s power pop song. It’s still infuriating, bottom-of-the-barrel, racist fucking gibberish, but it is a lot more catchy! Call it Huey Lewis and the Fox News—Patrick Bateman would love it.
Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Judge Jeanine Pirro—yes, all your favorite Fox News villains are here, serving up choice cuts of made-up shit, from migrant caravans to Hillary Clinton’s ever-imminent arrest. It’s probably not great for your brain to hear “deep state” chanted over and over in any context, but it’s a lot more fun when backed up by a killer saxophone solo.
The highlight of the song is the bridge, where we see a clip of Pirro crowing about the impeccable, apolitical, unimpeachable integrity of James Comey, followed immediately by a clip of Pirro moaning about that well-known leftist liar James Comey.
Towards the end of the song, Shep Smith, Fox’s grandfathered-in, best-you’re-gonna-get voice of reason, gives a light rebuttal to the madness on offer from every other host on the network. It’s a brief moment of bare-minimum sanity, so naturally it gives way to bow-tied dipshit Tucker Carlson wondering if pandas are actually horny, violent killers. Shep, we recommend you gently switch off your brain and just hum along.
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