Fox has acquired the Tim Burton-produced, 3D adaptation of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, the Seth Grahame-Smith monster mash-up novel that imagines an alternate history where our nation’s most ungainly president is a vengeance-seeking vampire slayer, instead of the horny bisexual we all remember from The Secret Diary Of Desmond Pfeiffer. In order to secure the deal, Fox covered its studio lot with bloody axes and footprints for the arrival of Burton and director Timur Bekmambetov, who were then accompanied to their meeting by a Confederate soldier playing “Taps” (who we like to imagine was the same guy tasked with breaking the news on the set of Lone Star). A desperate move, sure, but how often does a vampire project come along?