While many waste time agonizing over the perfect username to assign their video game user profiles and in-game character names, the truly ascended among us understand that just typing in whatever horseshit comes to mind at the exact moment a prompt appears is far preferable. With the latest add-on to multiplayer shooter Destiny 2 and the game’s release through Steam, an online storefront that allows for very easy changes to current screen names, an influx of wonderful examples of this bonehead art form have appeared.
In order to document the best of these, a Twitter account called destiny2names.exe now exists as a sort of ever-expanding archive of pure internet nonsense.
The names collected by the account span a wide range. The best of them are completely stupid, snapshots of the fevered gamerbrains who wish to have their personality summed up to other players by an excess of “ex wives” or a simple statement of the things that fill our lives—mint toothpaste, ham sandwiches, narcotics, and Toto MP3s.
There are also people who have named themselves simply as proud declarations, presented free of any unnecessary context.
It’s not a complete free-for-all out there. The account has a reasonable set of submission guidelines that make it clear that being an asshole or a bigot will not be celebrated by its owner.
In case you thought these kind of restrictions would slow down the internet’s creativity, though, think again.
As a living document, the destiny2names.exe account will only grow more impressive as time goes on. Far in the future, when anthropologists look for clues as to the values and mores of our long-vanished culture, we can take heart in knowing that the most vital aspects of our population will be preserved here, one name at a time.
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