Photo: Joshua Blanchard/Dimitrios Kambouris (Getty Images)

In one of those stories that makes you simultaneously grateful to be writing about something dumb and not nuclear war, and also feel a little twinge of longing in the darkest recesses of your mind for something—could be nuclear war, could be aliens, doesn’t really matter—to come and end all of this forever, it is our duty as internet content producers to inform you that Jimmy Kimmel and Sean Hannity are feuding with one another.

The fight began when Hannity—who has the look of a man who stands in front of his mirror and poses with a football like he’s getting his junior varsity portraits taken—took “offense” to a joke on Kimmel’s show Monday night where the late-night host poked fun at Melania Trump’s accent at the White House’s Easter festivities over the weekend. (“Offense” being in quotes, as Hannity had some less-than-kind things to say about Michelle Obama’s speaking voice throughout the Obama administration.)

Hannity proceeded to call Kimmel a “despicable disgrace,” and, just to underline the schoolyard nature of it all, an “ass clown”on his Fox News show. Kimmel, being a comedian, took the bait:

And that, friends, is when things went to Twitter.

Hannity seems to have looked Kimmel up on Wikipedia and found out about the existence of The Man Show; he subsequently posted a clip from the show on Twitter, calling Kimmel “Harvey Weinstein Jr.” The cynicism in Hannity’s use of that particular taunt is really rather stunning, given his vocal support of noted mall perv Roy Moore in Moore’s ultimately humiliating Senate run last fall. (Remember the Keurig smashing? That was a fun news cycle):

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Hannity then issued an ominous warning that “I’ll have much more tomorrow ... tick tock,” and when Kimmel replied “I can’t wait!,” made vague reference to a “conversation [he] had” with Disney chief Bob Iger about Kimmel. Today, friends, the clock ran out, and so did the ink in Hannity’s printer:

Yes, that is a printout of The Man Show’s Wikipedia page. Now, we’re not here to defend The Man Show, which could be pretty fucking gross at times and has only gotten more so in hindsight. But if Hannity wants to bring Wikipedia into this, we’d be glad to oblige him. For behind every conservative own, there is a greater self-own just waiting to be revealed, a principle henceforth known as Lil’ Donny’s Law.

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Anyway, the two are still going back and forth as of this writing, with Kimmel making clown makeup jokes and chiding Hannity for “trivializ[ing] the horrors of Harvey Weinstein by comparing them to televised comedy bits in which every woman was a willing participant who gladly signed a release.” Hannity, meanwhile, dug up another Man Show clip that shows Kimmel in blackface as Karl Malone before posting about the feud on his personal blog between rants about Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. (But please, tell us more about respecting First Ladies.) In short, nobody wins here.

Hannity does seem to be proud of his “#HarveyWeinsteinJr” hashtag, though, putting it right next to his name and photo at the top of the Hannity.com homepage. He better hope people get caught up on the drama before clicking the link in his bio:

Screenshot: hannity.com

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You see? Behind every own, a greater self-own just waiting to be revealed.