Aiming to avoid upsetting another British child whose fingers may then become too timorous to pluck coal, the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority has followed January’s censoring of a Saw 3-D ad by banning a poster campaign for Final Destination 5, citing several delicate English roses in mid-bloom who had “become visibly upset” upon seeing its image of a skull being shattered by steel rods driven through its eye and mouth holes. Although Warner Bros. called the campaign a “fantasy image” while also noting that it “accurately reflected the content of the film in an appropriate manner without causing excessive fear or distress,” at least 13 mumsies begged to differ, complaining to the ASA that their children had ceased mid-skip, their hoops rolling unattended into the gutters, and begun staining their bonnets with tears, inconsolable by even the most scrumptious of Cadbury treats. In keeping with prevailing British standards on decency in advertising, the posters have all been replaced by photos of a smiling, stout barmaid from Yorkshire with her baps out.

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