Photo: Sean Rayford / Getty

One of the most indelible moments of the general election debates was when Hillary Clinton landed a right hook on Donald Trump by calling him a puppet for Vladimir Putin. It wasn’t so much the burn as his response, blubbering “No puppet!” as she looked coolly on. It clearly got under his skin, much the way the “President Bannon” stuff is reported to today.

Anyway, she still lost, we are in hell now, and so on, which makes this new toy, with which you can make Donald Trump appear to say whatever you bid him, all the more amusing. It is the latest in a string of similar web toys that let you tweak Trump’s pompous postures and phrasings toward your own dark purposes. It is does not work perfectly—it’s missing quite a few words at this time, although hopefully that will be solved eventually, and it is a shame that the videos can’t be embedded or live on social networks, where they would thrive. Perhaps that is all in the works.

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Today, though, let us thrill as he finally reveals his loneliness and his darkest desires; sings your favorite songs; bemoans the left turn his life has taken; sounds sort of like Twin Peaks’ Man From The Other Place; confirms your greatest fears; goes insane; weighs in on the A.V. Club’s most fierce internal debate; weighs in on what would’ve been our fiercest debate in 1984; sings himself to sleep; reveals his ultimate intentions; panders to us for coverage; and does whatever the hell else you want him to, at least in the fantasy version of the world in which he is answerable to anyone but the tiny, angry, frightened ball of hate pushing the gears within his brain. And also Steve Bannon and possibly Vladimir Putin.

[via New York Magazine]