In news that has rocked the world of fashion law enforcement, Deadline reports that E! is putting its show Fashion Police on hiatus, effective immediately. The channel has stated that it plans to keep the series benched until the fall, leaving an entire spring and summer for fashion criminals to exploit this gap in America’s couture-based defenses.

The hiatus comes on the heels of new host Kathy Griffin’s departure after a mere seven episodes, less than a month after co-host Kelly Osbourne had departed as well. Rather than attempt to soldier on with only Giuliana Rancic and Brad Goreski—mere sergeants in the war on clothing—E! decided that the show’s recent less-than-impressive ratings and cast turnover indicated the need for a serious revamp. Griffin explained her departure by saying that she felt the show was too mean-spirited to women, and she wanted to foster a more positive culture of tolerance, presumably by saving all of her best fat jokes for her own stand-up specials.

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This gaping void in the protection of our society against the abuses of those who would wield fashion for their own ill-gotten gain must be addressed, but as of yet, E! has not offered any replacements. The A.V. Club wants to do its part to help out, and so we humbly suggest a tough new stand-in for our missing fashion police. A way to keep fashion crime in line without being subject to the pesky whims of fickle TV personalities. Allow us to recommend the absolutely foolproof ED-209, the only police we’ll ever need: