Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Extremely cool skateboarding dachshund is this generations Spuds MacKenzie
Screenshot: Paws Tube (YouTube)

A whole new generation of puppies is growing up having spent their youth gazing at posters of sports heroes like Spuds MacKenzie and Tillman, the skateboarding bulldog, and dreaming of one day achieving a similar level of coolness. We are pleased to report that one of them, a miniature dachshund named Rowdy, has achieved this goal and currently features in an Instagram account filled with videos of her incredible feats.

Advertisement

Rowdy’s commitment to the sport is documented through posts like the one above, which shows the pup kicking her board into place and riding it down sets of staircases. Rude and full of ‘tude, she sticks her tongue out into the air, plants her stubby legs firm, and conquers all obstacles with the devil may care attitude of a Bart Simpson truck sticker flipping everyone on the highway the bird.

Advertisement

While we’re sure Rowdy’s super extreme life is fleshed out with plenty of off-camera time spent crushing beers, sparking joints, and ripping guitar solos, she is first and foremost devoted to her sport. Even as the sun begins to set and other dogs lie down for a night of rest, Rowdy is out there perfecting her craft. Once indoors, her training continues with ramp-climbing exercises. When the snow falls, she shifts to winter sports to maintain her athletic prowess.

Advertisement
Advertisement

All of this hard work pays off with photoshoots that show Rowdy at her most glamorous. The bits of grass and little twigs that plague all rock and roll dachshund ears are combed out of her fur here, cleaning her up so she’s ready to stand as role-model for aspiring puppies the world over. Unlike Spuds, her handlers know to keep Rowdy in check. The hunks are ushered out of view. The cases of beer are pushed to the side. Instead, we’re left only to see the presentable, tamed version of the dog.

Advertisement

Still, her rebel spirit can’t be held down for long. Every trip outdoors is an opportunity for Rowdy to tackle a set of stairs or throw on a ripped denim jacket and demonstrate her skills to onlookers awed by her intimidating brand of cool.

Advertisement
Advertisement

Rowdy, as her name suggests, is no genteel canine. She would never be admitted to the stuffy grounds of a Westminster Dog Show. No judges could contain her spirit—her drive for the sport. Nobody could tell her to tame her style to win a glorified beauty pageant. The only competition that matters to Rowdy’s mind is the one between herself and the limits of her stubby body. Skating is life to her. And life? Life is good.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Advertisement

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter