We don't introduce new A.V. Club merchandise too often, because really, that would be gauche. But we've got the perfect stocking stuffer for you this year: a six-pack of AVC buttons. You get two logos, "secret success," "great job, internet!," "helping nerds become snobs," and the ever-popular "firsties!" so you can annoy people even when you're not sitting at the computer. Here's a link, which will take you to the Onion store. (You can also buy other stuff there, and please feel free.) And because you've taken the time to read this far, we're giving five lucky readers the opportunity to WIN one of these fabulous button packs. Just send us an e-mail with your mailing address (US only, please), and if you're a lucky winner, we'll send you some damn buttons already.