Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Illustration for article titled Everything Is Terrible! got people to cover an educational New Wave song by a puppet named Scoot McGooter
Screenshot: Enthused About The News (YouTube)

The news is pretty awful these days, what with the global pandemic, a looming financial crisis, and a contentious presidential election. It’s safe to say that no amount of autotuning or “tooning out” will make the content much easier to swallow. So, let’s travel back to a simpler time, when the news was delivered in bite-sized, toe-tapping chunks sung by grotesque bear puppets. Don’t remember that? Well, let the retro cringe experts at Everything Is Terrible! refresh your memory.


After dubbing this found footage monstrosity,Scoot McGooter, Cub Reporter,” and declaring him the “greatest thing to come along in a long time,” Everything Is Terrible! called on their Twitter followers to come through with their best covers and remixes. And come through they did.


Some went for the traditional “turn it into a banger” route.

Others opted for a brooding, Nick Cave-style rendition with some additional lyrics.

Still others decided to do a full update of the song, complete with clips from recent news stories just to remind you how bad things are right now while you’re shaking your butt on the dance floor.

Hopefully, more remixes will continue to come in before this whole concept gets repurposed as a less successful Quibi show, because, as of right now, this is the only news we want to see.


Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Pay me to write for you, you coward.

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