American Horror Story: Freak Show

While Jessica Lange has made it very clear that she’s had it up to here with Ryan Murphy’s ongoing exercise in turning a promising start into a chaotic mess, others have yet to give up on American Horror Story. Kathy Bates, for instance, has decided to double down on the bearded ladies and racist slaveowners by coming back for season five. Chloë Sevigny was even convinced to come back after bailing for the past two seasons, presumably due to a super-pointless arc for her previous character. But some people, much like in high school, are just bound and determined to get that perfect attendance record, regardless of its value. So, much like his compatriot in being a goody two-shoes, Sarah Paulson, FX has confirmed that Evan Peters is set once again to star in American Horror Story: Hotel, making them the only two cast members to appear in every season of the show.

The upcoming season, presumably about a hotel that tortures its guests to death via TVs that only air American Horror Story, will also feature Matt Bomer, Wes Bentley, Cheyenne Jackson, and Lady Gaga. But none of them can match the unblemished records of Paulson and Peters, who will likely link arms and skip down the hall, excited to be doing the same thing over and over again, much like Ryan Murphy himself.