The cast of Seinfeld always had an affinity for doom. Sure, their hair was kept trimmed, their apartments well lit, and they wore more primary colors than black, but “the show about nothing” understood the philosophy of existential dread on a fundamental level.
That’s why it feels natural to learn of the existence of Grindfeld, the wonderfully named tribute band behind an upcoming EP called 5 Songs About Nothing. Years after the comedy series’ end, the world has become even more hellishly absurd, and with only reruns to comfort us, there’s plenty of room for the Seinfeld ethos to be revisited. What Grindfeld does is excavate the true horror underlying every episode’s jokes and give it a fuller, rawer expression ... through death growls, squealing guitar, and lots of double-kick drums.
Each track from the EP is focused on a specific Seinfeld episode—the tracks include “The Contest,” “The Limousine,” “The Soup Nazi,” “The Letter,” and “The Bizarro Jerry”—which is helpful not just for metal listeners but also time conscious sitcom fans hoping to condense 20 minutes of TV viewing into a quicker, notably more abrasive musical summary.
Consider a selection of lyrics from “The Contest,” which is based on the classic “no-masturbation bet” episode and available to listen to through Grindfeld’s Bandcamp ahead of the full EP’s November 23 release:
Vow of celibacy. A friendly wager. I know I’m better than you.
You’ll be out before we get the check.
Honor the code. Sick in the head. You need help.
Enemy across the way who caved. Easiest money In my whole life.
Rather than watch the whole episode for yourself, Grindfeld touches on all the big plot points, tossing in a few memorable quotes along the way. If you can figure out exactly what the words being throatily growled are, it’s a very handy way to combine your slam-dancing and TV watching in one place.
We can only hope that Grindfeld will inspire similar acts to follow suit, leading a wave that includes black metal Curb Your Enthusiasm and goregrind Bee Movie bands, thus fully representing the great lineage of Seinfeld for future generations.
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