There are so, so many reasons why snakes rank at the top of the universe’s most horrifying creations, but the most important may be the simplest: They’re incredibly, terrifyingly sneaky. Because they lie flat on the ground most of the time, refusing us the common courtesy of at least possessing legs, snakes can end up anywhere, darting across your foot while you’re enjoying a walk in the woods, falling out of the goddamned ceiling to hiss and slap their snaky bodies all over your home, or, worst of all, emerging from the toilet to bite you in the ass when you assume you’re in a safe place.
The last of these awful scenarios is apparently a common enough occurrence that a video from Bright Side has been made to explain why, exactly, it happens. Presumably because the subject matter is so enormously horrendous, the video is also animated like a children’s cartoon where regular people just sort of smile as they pluck vicious pythons from their homes.
After setting the scene with the story of a guy in Bangkok who found a 10-foot python in his toilet back in 2016, the video asks us to empathize with that creepy snake by describing how it would end up swimming through the sewage system. We learn that snakes, in droughts, may be forced to hunt rats in cities, ending up following them into sewers, and getting lost in a disorienting maze of pipes until they eventually finds fresh air and light... from the drain of a house’s toilet. Not content just to paint that picture, the video also explains that this can happen anywhere, even in high-rise apartments in cities where snakes aren’t usually found. We’re reminded that zoo keepers or people who keep snakes as pets may end up accidentally allowing their scaly pals to escape and follow moisture toward our butts.
All of this is presented through images of friendly-seeming cartoon snakes going about their business, which may be fair enough in that none of this stuff is the creatures’ faults, but also kind of blunts the reality of the situation at hand. The animation style is so innocent-looking that it temporarily hides the fact that the subject in question is a slithering reptile finding you in a place of presumed safety only to attack in a vulnerable moment by biting your asshole. It’s probably a blessing that this artistic choice was taken. After all, happy, colorful cartoons are the only way we can deal with this knowledge without starting to consider that relieving ourselves in plastic bags is the far safer, snake-free option.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org