Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Emo Trump returns to moan about toilet problems

Illustration for article titled Emo Trump returns to moan about toilet problems
Photo: John Keeble (Getty Images)

There’s nothing new in pointing out that Donald Trump’s style of speaking, removed from the status-boosting context of cheering rally crowds or a White House backdrop, sounds pretty pathetic. When he isn’t all-caps tweeting about “perfect phone calls,” he’s getting out in front of the people to rage and moan about media persecution, impeachment, and whatever else wanders through the cobwebbed hallways of his mind. His style of communication, despite being one of the least dangerous boils pulsing on the festering carbuncle that is modern American politics, does at least provide ample opportunities to remix Trump’s remarks into sad songs.

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Nick Lutsko noticed this years ago and, since then, has been steadily working to repurpose Trump’s whiniest remarks into emo song lyrics. Inspired by the incredible self-own that was the president describing his need to flush toilets “10 to 15 times,” Lutsko’s now returned with a new track chronicling one man’s struggle to deal with the bathroom.

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Lutsko captures the deep sadness of some of Trump’s toilet-related woes, providing us with a song that illustrates no matter how far in life a person may rise, their bowels can always bring them right back down again. Images of the president chowing on fast food are set beneath desperate vocals describing being “in there five times longer than you’re supposed to be” and a rousing chorus counting down the double digit flushes Trump requires. At the end of the video, we see the president boarding Air Force One with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

For more where that came from, Lutsko has collected his past “Emo Trump” songs (including ones about impeachment, bird-killing windmills, and the cruel media) into a single YouTube video. Watch and listen to understand the extent of personal torment afflicting this man and consider that, just maybe, instant karma comes for everyone—even those who seem to get away with everything else.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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