Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Photo: Dia Dipasupil (Getty Images)

Back in August, we learned that Disney—having just purchased Fox’s film assets—was planning to put together reboots of various Fox properties for the Disney+ streaming service. We didn’t know what that specifically meant, but we did know that it involved Home Alone, Night At The Museum, Diary Of Wimpy Kid, and Cheaper By The Dozen. Now, because everyone loves watching reboots and remakes and revivals of old things they used to like (even when they say they don’t), Disney is apparently moving forward with a Home Alone reboot that will star JoJo Rabbit’s Archie Yates as some new kid (not Kevin McCallister) who gets left behind and his to defend his home from bumbling burglars.

This comes from Variety, which says Yates will be joined by Ellie Kemper and Rob Delaney, who will be playing the poor kid’s parents (and not the bumbling burglars, dashing our hopes of seeing Ellie Kemper do her best Joe Pesci impression). What we will get to see, if the old movies are any indication, is Kemper looking calmly saying something like “We probably didn’t forget anything at home when left for vacation, what would we have forgotten?” as Rob Delaney contentedly closes his eyes to take an airplane nap, and then Kemper will jolt forward, stare straight into the camera, and shout… whatever the new kid’s name will be.

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We don’t know when the movie will premiere (next holidays at the earliest seems like a safe bet), but it will be directed by Dan Mazer.

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