Fifty Shades Of Grey

Having apparently decided that outsiders like Fifty Shades Of Grey director Sam Taylor-Johnson will never understand her vision, E.L. James, author of the erotic trilogy that launched a thousand awkward merchandising opportunities, has hired someone she can control—sorry, trust—to write the sequel to the film.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, James’ husband Niall Leonard has been chosen for the task. Unlike James, Leonard has previous screenwriting experience, having written for British TV series like Wire In The Blood and Monarch Of The Glen as well as writing the Crusher series of novels. (He also reportedly did some uncredited punch-up work on the first movie, which probably means he re-inserted a “holy crap” after screenwriter Kelly Marcel took them all out.) “Niall is an outstanding writer in his own right, with multiple established credits, and we are lucky to have him join Team Fifty,” producer Michael De Luca says. Leonard’s inner god could not be reached for comment, as he was busy doing The Carlton and thinking about all the cable ties he’s going to buy.