Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Len Wiseman’s Total Recall remake jettisons so many of the things that make it recognizably Total Recall—the Mars plot, the Schwarzeneggerian wit, the R rating—but Wiseman recognizes that there are certain things people expect from the name “Total Recall.” Specifically, they expect—nay, demand—a three-breasted woman, and so Wiseman promised in an interview with Collider that his Total Recall will have its own triple-titted ingénue to stoke the strange adolescent fantasies of a whole new generation. Her presence in the story seemingly defies Wiseman’s proclamation that this version has a realistic, “more serious” tone, but it does offer hope for the existence of a telepathic stomach-mutant, which is still on our list of prerequisites.


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