Because it is a dark totem that people throughout our great land have felt the compulsion to destroy, Donald Trump’s star has been voted to be permanently removed from the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. The news came via West Hollywood mayor John Duran’s Twitter account, which stated, “West Hollywood City council unanimously passes resolution asking the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce to remove the Donald Trump star on Hollywood Walk of Fame,” followed by a suite of unambiguous hashtags:
This doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll get removed. That decision would come down to the Hollywood Chamber Of Commerce and the City Of Los Angeles, but the City Council has officially requested that they do so.
The star was most recently destroyed last month by a pickax, although somebody had also destroyed it with a piackax just before the 2016 election. In a heartwarming twist, the perpetrator of the first incident bailed the perpetrator of the second incident out of jail, thus implying the existence of some sort of cycle of virtuous star-destroyers that might continue to shatter the grim symbol over and over again until the great darkness finally overtakes the earth. In between these two incidents, the star has attracted plenty of other vandalism, including a spray-painted swastika and a symbolic wall.
Eventually removing the star is unlikely, and it wouldn’t mean much at all except for the fact that you know Trump would be furious about it. There is probably nothing that has ever meant so much to him, aside from the fading memory of the time Donna D’Errico told friends she found him very charming. Trump originally received the star in 2007 for his role as “puckered, bleeding asshole” on The Apprentice, but if it is removed and his famousness is officially retracted, he will revert to merely a sickly old man whose brain has been eaten by vanities that tweets about the things that make him angry on TV. (Also, still the president.) The star is his Rosebud.
(Update: This story originally stated that the star would definitely be removed, rather than merely voted to be removed. It has been updated.)