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Donald Trump goes on Dr. Oz to prove how yuuugely healthy he is

Screenshot: YouTube

Using the same “I read it in a chain letter, so it must be true” approach to medical science as he has for foreign policy, economics, and, well, pretty much everything else, Donald Trump went on The Dr. Oz Show today to prove that he’s just the healthiest, the most physically fit there is, he’s got the greatest bones and the greatest organs, and he would make Mexico pay for his new kidneys if he needed them. Not like Crooked Hillary, who got pneumonia because she didn’t have a limo waiting outside while her doctor wrote her a clean bill of health. Sad!

On the program, Dr. Mehmet Oz—who used to be a respected cardiac surgeon, and now shills miracle diets his colleagues agree don’t even work on TV—went over Trump’s medical records, including a “full review of systems” and his family medical history. Interestingly, as The New York Times notes, Oz told trump his weight of 267 pounds on a 6’2” frame made him “slightly overweight,” even though, according to the National Institutes of Health, that comes out to an “obese” BMI of 34.3.


And yeah, the BMI is BS, but this is Trump we’re talking about. He loves to spread misinformation based on flawed metrics, so it only seems fair to apply a flawed metric to him as well. Anyway, we can now add weight to the list of “things Donald Trump doesn’t want anyone to say to his face.” His wealth is massive and his body, the opposite. Got it? *cracks knuckles menacingly*

You can watch an excerpt from this triumph of Newspeak below. The full episode will air Thursday.

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